fooled by a momentary glimpse..

Of course I constantly despair at my own incapacity, at the impossibility of ever accomplishing anything, of painting a valid, true picture or even of knowing what such a thing ought to look like. But then I always have the hope that, if I persevere, it might one day happen. And this hope is nurtured every time something appears, a scattered, partial, initial hint of something which reminds me of what I long for, or which conveys a hint of it - although often enough I have been fooled by a momentary glimpse that then vanishes, leaving behind only the usual thing.
I have no motif, only motivation. I believe that motivation is the real thing, the natural thing, and that the motif is old-fashioned, even reactionary (as stupid as the question about the Meaning of Life).

- Gerhard Richter (20 February 1985)

----------------------

I read and then re-read this piece by Richter and decided I had to post it.

Comparatively fucked;

..or Rembrandt's sleeve..

Turner, it would appear, arrogant and talented
bastard he was, also worked in the shadow of the
colossus..

A new exhibition; on now I believe..
www.tate.org.uk/britain/exhibitions/turnerandthemasters

at the Tate (Britain) in London town.

Ok, so, read the reviews, which will be more
articulate and less sweary than this, but will
probably at some point contain some of the same
words found here, albeit, more artistically arranged.
Go figure.

Anyway, Turner, the megalomaniac showman,
was in my books, pure genius, especially
when he went all 'Hemingway' in his final
years and produced some of the most wondrous
abstract paintings techniques..

This was going somewhere at some point..

Just read this bloody brilliant piece by Adrian Searle
www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2009/sep/22/jmw-turner-searle-tate-britain

Having recently returned from a trip to
Amsterdam, where I stood utterly transfixed
in the Rijksmuseum at a particular painting I
wanted to see 'in the flesh'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Jewish_Bride

It doesn't get better than that,
seriously, you have not actually
lived until you have stood in front
of this painting...

nothing else matters..

I actually realise that now.

So, there you go, my beautifully poetically
analysis of painting; Rembrandt is even more
of a talented fucker that Turner.

You knew that didn't you?

Go figure.

inside the factory

Many thanks to all you well wishers from my
previous post, thankyou all for your comments
and words of advice, which i will endevour to
take & 'be kind to myself'

I apologise for my lack of comments or posts
(and for my departure from the blip land)
but time has become a rare commodity for me
and i am stretching myself to the limit..

..already this week i have managed to get to
the studio twice after finishing work at 10pm
and have spent the full day today (& evening)
i plan to spend tomorrow there also...
giving myself no time before i start back at
work on friday morning..

who needs sleep and rest and all that stuff?!!

i appreciate the sentiments re selling a painting
a month (megan & debs) maybe i was being a little
over ambitious there.. seeing as nobody actually
knows where my studio is yet!!

everything in it's own good time then..

and about the 'debt' situation... i have never felt
as free in my entire life..
i can only advise that you never own a credit card
or take out any loans.. ever..
if you have any.. pay them off...
if you can't.. seek legal advice..
i actually took one of the 'main banks' to court..
..and won.
they do think themselves above the law.
(and they most cetainly are not)
they will cripple you at any cost.
they do not have any moral standing.

anyway.. enough of that.

thankyou all again for you good wishes

here is a quick snapshot pic of the studio;

The games we play.

I finished nights this morning & am currently filling boxes & making lists (purchased a kettle.. very important)
later today I move the first of my stuff into my new studio.

I have made the decision to rent a professional
studio with various other artists (& apparently
a death metal band, who live in the studio directly
next to mine.. note to self; don't forget Ipod)

This may be a short lived venture..
I have no idea what to expect.

I work long hours & varied shifts, but I get odd
days off in between, these days will now be spent
in the studio in an attempt to re-adjust the balance.

I have exhibited my work in many galleries & even
managed to sell some work.. here and there... so...

'The Plan'

Obviously the professional studio doesn't come free
(or cheap) - to make this a viable venture I have a
set goal; at least one painting per month must be sold
to continue into the next month..

I don't see how otherwise to justify the need to
pay rent for a studio if I am unable to sell any work.

We shall see how I do.

This is a no risk situation from a 'money' view point,
having now paid everything I owe and being, for the
first time in 8yrs, completely debt free.

A good feeling, euphoric even.

I owe nothing; note to banks "go fuck yourself and bleed
to death in the hell of your own making"
seriously, if you do work for any kind of financial institution,
please kill yourself now.

So, this is the time to try and 'make something'
of myself other than being able to count paperclips
and fill in spreadsheets.

The games we play..

wish me luck.