1983

"1983" - 'oil/acrylic on canvas, metal & wire' 2009 (sold)

My father's Ford Cortina, with the back seat I could
lie on, full length, watch the fields belt past
and the rain wind crazy paths down the window.
Doctors and nurses with the pretty girl next door
(always in need of thorough examinations)
Stealing matches from the kitchen and making small fires
in big fields.
Shooting out the windows of frozen diggers with a Webley air pistol.
Catching newts and dragonflies from dirty ponds.
Taking everything I could carry from half built houses in the street.

The Rape of Angels

Angels of Anarchy,
Manchester city art gallery.



Take the artwork out of it’s environment and it
will take on an entirely new meaning, so Berger
points out, a fair a valid point that is more
consistent with today than his more dated very ‘male’
viewpoints of the 1970’s..
(just happens to be what I’m reading having received
the book for Christmas)
(you understand that I don’t attack his ‘viewers’
concept of the ‘women’ in art as an object to be
perceived; it is more his isolations of a possible
‘female’ viewer of the work in question)



I wonder what Francesca Woodman would make of this?
Object of art to be viewed only by ‘men’ as viewers?
Does she show herself, ‘not naked as she is’ but
‘naked as the spectator sees her’ ?
Is she an object of ‘male’ desire?

The exhibition which contained many of her photographs
and an amazing video compilation which I have never
seen before; simply mesmerising to look into her eyes
as she stares back into the camera.. to see her breath..
(their is also even more rare footage of Frida Kahlo
in a recovered part of a test shoot for a never to be
made film (she died shortly after it was shot))

The environment & setting; on the day of attending the
exhibition; the weather had delivered 100 years of snow
overnight, rendering most of the country unable to come
to terms with what snow actually is..
(this time next year the entire country will have again
forgotten & be ‘surprised’ all over again.. snow??)

The gallery itself was open and running a skeleton
crew of security & I didn’t think they would have let me
in, one of the gallery staff radio’d ahead..
“yeah, that’s fine, you can go in..”

I had the exhibition nearly all to myself whilst the world
killed itself outside..
(I also didn’t have to pay the admittance charge for the
exhibition as the person responsible for operating the
till hadn’t made it in.. nobody else could figure it out..)

A great day, free entry to a fantastic exhibition which I had
almost entirely to myself whilst everyone else seemed to
be pre-occupied with moaning about what the weather had
done...

My only gripe being I didn’t get snowed in the Gallery and
had to spend the night there..
..sleeping with the angels..

My male moral standing momentarily lying down.

Thanks weather.

2009? sorry, something went wrong.

Where do you want the year to end?
4am in a carpark, Christmas day...?

I've been working the graveyard shift
throughout the festive season..

Perhaps not feeling as merry as the gentleman
receiving aural delight from his attractive slut
knelt down on the piss stained concrete floor of
the synagogue carpark.. she was too busy to offer
any civility and probably thought it rude to address
me with her mouth full..
the gentleman however took great delight in turning
slowly his arched body, throwing back his head and
with a mouth full of broken & discoloured teeth uttering
the words "chaos reigns"

What a complete cunt, doesn't he know this will upset
my concentration? I've got paperclips to count you fuck.

This is how my year draws to a close, another Woody Allen
moment of bleakness on some desperate black and white train
whilst the rest of the world fucks itself in glorious
twating technicolour...

I would recount the year in a more civilised and constructive
way, but as well you know me, I can't be fucked.

Sky the limit(ed)

The weekend saw me take part in my first
'open studio' exhibition, over a 100 people
popped into my studio, looked around, asked
questions.. it was a great success & I really
enjoyed meeting & talking to new people.

The future is bright..

Not so bright is my new internet 'connection'

For the time being, it looks as though I will
be 'internetless' - I can access randomly from
time to time.. providing it doesn't rain..
or a car drives by the house...

I shall therefore be even less active both here
and in other internet related activities...

.. I will..

at some stage..

..be back..



..possibly..

Ohm Sweet Ohm

It gathers around the edges, then falls all around me..
Super Jesus fucking Christ!
Vasari's beard and his staring eyes blinding me with the
knowledge that Raphael fucked himself to death!!!

NO!! he really did!! in between frescos!!

Paint paint.. fuck.. paint paint.. fuck fuck DEATH!!!

Vasari had a great beard, and I like Kraftwerk..

Listen!

(ever wondered why people don't take me or this wank serious?)

Some paintings wander by mistake...

I am a terrible sloth when it comes to updating
and posting on this wretched blog...
To this date, this place out lasts all my other
ventures...
So, to placate myself a little and actually acknowledge
Debs request of sharing some actual paintings..

A new series of works emerge and wander onto the station;
here a couple to start with...
hope you like..?

(click the image to view full size)

'The Howling of Wolves'



'The Wrong Divide'




~ edit ~ 16th November;
'The Howling of Wolves' as hung on that beautiful studio wall ;)

(you also get a better idea of the textures/layers in the paiting
from the light bounce toward the top of the painting)

Broadcast and The Focus Group - #1 : Witch Cults

Camera Obscura

I've been hitting brick walls again;
having put my camera away and put pressure
into painting; which will as a release,
seize; and has.. with a slight *glimmer..

holding onto that glimmer (spotted hidden on
the floor) - and the realisation than one can
spark the other...

I sat and pondered the above; burnt the remains;
drowned in a smoke & sunlight filled autumn tinged
morning..



Start again.

*Don't dismiss the glimmer. Enjoy the day..
Be good to yourself.

I think everything will be okay.

fooled by a momentary glimpse..

Of course I constantly despair at my own incapacity, at the impossibility of ever accomplishing anything, of painting a valid, true picture or even of knowing what such a thing ought to look like. But then I always have the hope that, if I persevere, it might one day happen. And this hope is nurtured every time something appears, a scattered, partial, initial hint of something which reminds me of what I long for, or which conveys a hint of it - although often enough I have been fooled by a momentary glimpse that then vanishes, leaving behind only the usual thing.
I have no motif, only motivation. I believe that motivation is the real thing, the natural thing, and that the motif is old-fashioned, even reactionary (as stupid as the question about the Meaning of Life).

- Gerhard Richter (20 February 1985)

----------------------

I read and then re-read this piece by Richter and decided I had to post it.

Comparatively fucked;

..or Rembrandt's sleeve..

Turner, it would appear, arrogant and talented
bastard he was, also worked in the shadow of the
colossus..

A new exhibition; on now I believe..
www.tate.org.uk/britain/exhibitions/turnerandthemasters

at the Tate (Britain) in London town.

Ok, so, read the reviews, which will be more
articulate and less sweary than this, but will
probably at some point contain some of the same
words found here, albeit, more artistically arranged.
Go figure.

Anyway, Turner, the megalomaniac showman,
was in my books, pure genius, especially
when he went all 'Hemingway' in his final
years and produced some of the most wondrous
abstract paintings techniques..

This was going somewhere at some point..

Just read this bloody brilliant piece by Adrian Searle
www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2009/sep/22/jmw-turner-searle-tate-britain

Having recently returned from a trip to
Amsterdam, where I stood utterly transfixed
in the Rijksmuseum at a particular painting I
wanted to see 'in the flesh'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Jewish_Bride

It doesn't get better than that,
seriously, you have not actually
lived until you have stood in front
of this painting...

nothing else matters..

I actually realise that now.

So, there you go, my beautifully poetically
analysis of painting; Rembrandt is even more
of a talented fucker that Turner.

You knew that didn't you?

Go figure.

inside the factory

Many thanks to all you well wishers from my
previous post, thankyou all for your comments
and words of advice, which i will endevour to
take & 'be kind to myself'

I apologise for my lack of comments or posts
(and for my departure from the blip land)
but time has become a rare commodity for me
and i am stretching myself to the limit..

..already this week i have managed to get to
the studio twice after finishing work at 10pm
and have spent the full day today (& evening)
i plan to spend tomorrow there also...
giving myself no time before i start back at
work on friday morning..

who needs sleep and rest and all that stuff?!!

i appreciate the sentiments re selling a painting
a month (megan & debs) maybe i was being a little
over ambitious there.. seeing as nobody actually
knows where my studio is yet!!

everything in it's own good time then..

and about the 'debt' situation... i have never felt
as free in my entire life..
i can only advise that you never own a credit card
or take out any loans.. ever..
if you have any.. pay them off...
if you can't.. seek legal advice..
i actually took one of the 'main banks' to court..
..and won.
they do think themselves above the law.
(and they most cetainly are not)
they will cripple you at any cost.
they do not have any moral standing.

anyway.. enough of that.

thankyou all again for you good wishes

here is a quick snapshot pic of the studio;

The games we play.

I finished nights this morning & am currently filling boxes & making lists (purchased a kettle.. very important)
later today I move the first of my stuff into my new studio.

I have made the decision to rent a professional
studio with various other artists (& apparently
a death metal band, who live in the studio directly
next to mine.. note to self; don't forget Ipod)

This may be a short lived venture..
I have no idea what to expect.

I work long hours & varied shifts, but I get odd
days off in between, these days will now be spent
in the studio in an attempt to re-adjust the balance.

I have exhibited my work in many galleries & even
managed to sell some work.. here and there... so...

'The Plan'

Obviously the professional studio doesn't come free
(or cheap) - to make this a viable venture I have a
set goal; at least one painting per month must be sold
to continue into the next month..

I don't see how otherwise to justify the need to
pay rent for a studio if I am unable to sell any work.

We shall see how I do.

This is a no risk situation from a 'money' view point,
having now paid everything I owe and being, for the
first time in 8yrs, completely debt free.

A good feeling, euphoric even.

I owe nothing; note to banks "go fuck yourself and bleed
to death in the hell of your own making"
seriously, if you do work for any kind of financial institution,
please kill yourself now.

So, this is the time to try and 'make something'
of myself other than being able to count paperclips
and fill in spreadsheets.

The games we play..

wish me luck.

Portrait of a Spanish Girl (version 2)

__________________________________________________

Photograhy by 'Supervisor'
The beautiful 'Senorita CK' as model and muse.

Homage after the painting by
Gerald Kelly - 'Portrait of a Spanish Girl'

__________________________________________________




More of my photography can be found here 'www.blipfoto.com/chemicalfactory'

It's A Satanic Drug Thing

Switch from Ellen Rogers on Vimeo.

Muse

"Portrait of a Spanish Girl (#1)"

click the above link.

Have a good look at yourself today...

..go on then..

haunt me... please.

absolute beauty...



still from the sublime & beautiful video 'Nikoletta'

Even in the rain..

10 years and still OK.

want to have a sneak peek behind the scenes?

The end is near.

Tomorrow I will be off to Drumcroon art gallery to
help with the hanging of the 'OK Studios' 10 years
celebration exhibition, I may have some in the show
myself, which will be the last exhibition I intend
to be included in for some time.

I've been waiting for a decision from the Chapel Gallery
...which was, in the end, less than favourable, but at
least this objective rejection has made me stand back to
re-evaluate my work, which has been on a downward spiral
for some time.

I think I have made a considerable effort to achieve my
dream over the past years, and it is time now to be realistic..
at least I still have a day job, which in these current
circumstances, is more than most..

Ironic, the last painting I submitted..
"A line allows progress"
(my favourite of all my paintings)

you gotta laugh..

go figure..


(by request of Wrenna; 'a line allows progress' - (maybe just a sandwich then?))

these days..

worry

In my typical style, I panic if anybody takes notice.
Hence the uncharacteristic updates here, as I know nobody
is reading them...

..Panic is a constant state of mind for me at present..

This is the night before I install the paintings at the
church, having (half-heatedly) promoted the exhibition..
..I start well.. and then drift off..
(100 invitations printed.. but I think perhaps I should of
actually sent some of these out??!!)

I could worry myself to death about whether the typeface of
the titles is the correct point size..

Will the paintings speak for themselves? will they speak
loudly enough..

will anybody actually come see?

It will be what it will be...

..whatever that actually means..

1970's Polaroid Summer.

(For The Girl Least Likely To.)

Rehearsing my Choir

"Dreams in a Changing Landscape"

(Experiment IV;)

an exhibition of my work opens this weekend.
but.. this time instead of being in an art gallery
it will be held within a very beautiful church.

in the background,
the 'alteri chamber choir' will rehearse.

Hopefully, the choral sounds reflecting the
paintings, which, in turn, reflect our dreams
in this changing landscape.




Dreams in a Changing Landscape

Holy Innocents Church
Fallowfield, Manchester

Featuring a very special performance by
The Alteri Chamber Choir

Saturday 20th June, 3pm.

statement

It only took me two months to write the
following statement for the upcoming studio
brochure & exhibition...

..and I already had this statement, I only
changed the last sentence...

"My work is inspired by nature and the interaction of the mechanical and the man made element upon the landscape. Within my paintings, texture and surface is explored by using a variety of materials from traditional oil, and acrylic paint to the heavily layered and corroded use of metal and wire. My work presents an alternative view of this natural and chemical landscape and challenges pre-conceived beliefs in our own surroundings"

PS;

it's been nearly a year now,
so which thieving fucker stole
my background??

i've given you plenty chance to
return it..

legal action will now commence.

g&t

licking acid off my finger tips.
time for bed.

lets see what the light of morning
shines upon.

~ THE END ~ (I love you goodbye)

It was never going to be easy, well.. i knew that..!
the fight was long and hard, the wolf knew my weaknesses
and exploited them to the full..

i kept going away..

..but i kept coming back..

i could feel the layers of disquiet lifting.. pulling..
my head expanded and nearly blew..!!

but wolf, you lay wimpering..
..sitting looking pathetic..
in a pool of your own defeated piss..

i am no longer in fear of the wolf..

picking up where i left off (still i & ii) - i quickly
grabbed another canvas and painted the journey back home;
within the week i would be home at last!!

all the techniques i had learned along the way helped me
all i had to do was look up at the sky from the back of
my parents cortina & realise i always knew the world was
connected!

and i connected it!!

(Am I doing it?
Can I have it all now?)


i want to go home..


please?

hour of the wolf.

This hour is a long one, things can become a little strange.
s'okay tho' - I've been to(o) strange.

Set the bar high..

may as well say I won't see you until Rembrandt.

Oh fuck.

trap

"in a curious way what one is always hoping to do
is to paint the one picture that will annihilate all
the others, to concentrate everything into one painting" (Bacon)

Hit a chord with me recently having been 'stuck' with the one
same painting since November 2008..
..I'm still painting it..
it still isn't working...

'Sunday' said she knows alot of artists who spend vast amounts
of time absorbing things..
.. and to 'be kind to yourself'

I want to be kind to myself. It is good advice.

I have forgotten everything or dispensed with it all, replaced
it with confusion and stress.

With this comes 'clunky' paintings that don't work and refuse
to be anything.. because you don't have a 'hold on anything'

I don't watch TV, I don't read books, I don't have time to go
out drinking and having a laugh..
I'm very busy...
busy in my studio, trying to work out why everything is no good
and doesn't work anymore.
even if it did.. I wouldn't realise it.. or probably hate it.

This has been posted to remind myself that I am an idiot.

..and I do need to be reminded of that fact or else I will be
lost forever.

Factory update;

"These Days"
(acrylic & oil on canvas; & built on wooden painted frame)

Currently exhibited at the Turnpike Gallery.

9th May - 19th June 2009

(detail below)