caution, gritting in progress..

it is officialy bloody cold now, i can tell
this by the 'caution gritting in progress' flashing
sign on the motorway & by the lack of feeling in my
hands after a few miles on the motorcycle..
a painful & mostly dangerous time of year for
motorcycles..

painting, or rather looking at my paintings, thinking
what am i gonna do here? - having recently collected
some exhibited pieces, trying to find wall space for
them, hanging them here, there, wherever.. and wondering
what next.. carry on painting? to what end exactly..
exhibit them? possibly.. if i'm lucky..
sell them?? very unlikely.. or at such knock down prices
i wonder about the months of sleepless nights..

i'm in an odd place in that the last couple of paintings
have gone well, but my directions, feelings, purpose and
values have got somewhat lost along the way..

on a lighter note, i met kurt wagner last night, he's
started painting again, said he was enjoying it more than
ever.. maybe the 'no expectation' aspect of your career is
the one to focus on? for happiness that is, he said he was
happy, he seemed it as well..

talking, or rather typing to myself here, kinda addresses
certain issues, makes them less vague? -
maybe i should just finish my glass of wine & go to bed..

cover me up, i think i'm finished.