Monday, 12 May 2008

the final enriching layer of disquiet.

well i finally got my refusal from the gallery
this morning, the usual..
so far this year has been a bit shit, even by
my dwindling standards.

i had already made my decisions anyway, i was
just using this as confirmation that it was the
right one.. (should've trusted my instincts)

i could keep entering open exhibitions and sending
stuff off to galleries, but really, there isn't much
point, occasionally i get a painting into an exhibition,
but, so what? i've been doing that for years now.
i never seem to progress from that.
you can't say i didn't try, i have my name on several
past shows.

as for selling, i have sold a few, but as my paintings
are already under priced, it's just an insult when i have
to take even less... i needed the money.. shame on me.

anyway, the garden is overgrown & the house is a mess,
time to stop playing & attend to real matters..


  1. Damn! Sorry about the refusal.
    Give yourself some credit for reaching for the stars, by entering such an"important"exhibition(really they are all important- even shows in coffee shops and bars, and those open calls).

    Please don't put all your eggs in this one "high stationed" basket and then decide to walk away.

    Tend to the house and garden, take a break and then see what comes.

    As I look out my window my "garden" has turned into a massive jungle, and the house behind me is in total flux and there will be no tending to those things today.
    I envy you a bit.

  2. thanks Megan,

    of course all exhibitions are important, i just don't feel important in them, any of them, my work seems to be 'filler' for other more important artists.

    they never win any acclaim or comments or public votes..

    if i am lucky enough to be selected for an exhibition,
    i'm on a high..
    but then i take the painting there,
    it is hung, then at the end of the exhibition i go and collect it again and bring it home again..

    none the wiser to why?

    i feel like at best, i'm making up the numbers, filling that empty space...

    i'll take your advice and tend to the garden for now..

  3. Hey - really, really sorry to hear about the refusal.
    That is ahead of me, I know it before it starts, but something in me still wants to give it a go. Its not ego that drives me, but a connection with the gift given to me and a desire to give it back to the universe.
    You gift is unique, special and wonderful - please use it wisely, and DON'T give up on us :)
    Like Megan says, let your creativity flow in the garden etc and come back to your studio refreshed and ready to paint - no matter what. We all fit in somewhere, and sometimes we start as fillers and eventually someone takes note.
    We luv ya and understand!

  4. In the words of you know who
    "Don't Give up"

    If you feel that you don't get the understanding and support you need - you only have to ask - I promise to break the barriers down

    Remember - it can't rain all the time!

    Know you are loved and you need to keep going - honestly what is the alternative?