in a world where people shout

today i learnt that, filler, although great
texture does not make a good primary base for
acrylic paint, it absorbs it, leaves a dull murky
mess.. having given up with that experiment i
spray painted over the canvas with a can of white
aerosol i found & then placed it in the garden for
the elements to attack as they see fit.

i remember a while back being utterly frustrated at
a painting that, as usual, was going very very badly,
i became so depressed with it i quickly painted over
the whole thing and tossed it in the garden where it
lived for a week.
the same painting was exhibited last year and out of
that exhibition was the only one to sell...

go figure.

none of this really helps me know what direction i am
supposed to be going.. all it tells me is that i find
the whole process thoroughly frustrating and i am
constantly dissapointed i can't acheive more & better
results..

i am in a state of distraction and sleepless nights.

i have two other paintings suspended in gaffa, and
worried that they will also end up in the garden..

i'm goin' to need a bigger garden at this rate..